Does Your Self-Care Need an Upgrade?

There’s no doubt that self-care is important.

My clients can attest to me being their biggest cheerleader for self-care. Saying no, taking naps, scheduling alone time, and asking for help are all biggies in the way of self-care.

But why do so many struggle with making self-care happen in real life? Because it’s hard to show up for self-care when you’re in combat with yourself.

Self-Care By Any Means Necessary

Believe it or not, self-care is less about time management, and more about the relationship with yourself. As the womanist poet Audre Lorde claims, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation.”

In raising our glass to the unapologetic declaration of Lorde (#truthbomb), we might then be prompted to ask the question: Well, what am I willing to do to secure my self-care?

But, let’s be real! It’s scary as hell to look this question in the face. Because for many of us, to secure our self-care we might have to speak up, risk judgment, or face backlash. Which is why it’s tempting to opt out of self-care, stay in your comfort zone, and binge watch something on Netflix instead.

Rescue Your Self-Care Mojo

But, what happens when you get tired of opting out?

What if you’re imagining what life is like on the other side of people pleasing and the fear of being disliked?

Maybe you’re ready to risk braving into scary territory and finally learn how to love yourself. The gamechanging kind of love that forms a tried-and-true alliance with yourself. And the kind that is worth risking disapproval and side eyes from others.

From this place of deep love, it becomes second nature to care for yourself. Self-care then transforms into an accessory of the unshakable love you have within. It’s like decorating your self-love with a cute pair of earrings!

Ending the War Within

When in alliance with yourself, it’s less painful to ask cringe-worthy questions about your willingness to secure your care. Because in love, you deny any form of opposition with yourself.

What this looks like:

• Belief that your enough-ness is non-negotiable.
• Always having your back (i.e. be your own best friend/boo/ride or die).
• Refusal of insulting remarks directed towards yourself (including the ones whispered inside your head).

Yes, the language of self-love can be hard to hear at first. You’ve tuned into the voices of people pleasing, perfectionism, and struggle for so long — it’s what you know best. It will feel awkward, initially. Not to worry though, it takes time to become fluent in self-love.

Slowly and gently (but surely), you’ll get there with heaps of love and devotion to self.

If you’d like support in improving your relationship with yourself, schedule a consultation to discuss our working together. I’ll be listening out for you.

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