You Don’t Have to Be Part of the In Crowd of Moms to Belong

As moms, we all have shared a random connection with another mom while out in public. Maybe while standing in line at the grocery store? Or when browsing through the children’s books at the library? Or perhaps while hanging out at the community swimming pool?

This connection is sometimes sparked by communicating with a tenderness in our eyes or offering a facial expression full of compassion. Other times, this connection between moms is shared through spoken words with an, “I understand.” Or, “It’s okay, I’m a mom too, and I know all about rough days with the little ones.”

In these beautifully sacred moments moms are relating to one another. We’re also filling an essential need that we all have — a need to belong and be loved.

Just to clarify, belonging has nothing to do with being popular or part of the in crowd. Belonging comes from a place of wholehearted acceptance. It validates, heals, and empowers.

Belonging also expresses the message that “we’re all in this together.”

Loss of Connection

However, sometimes we can find ourselves disconnected, which feels a lot like being cut off. We feel alone and separate from others.

Perhaps you’ve experienced disconnection when you’ve been so caught up in the stress of carrying out your day that you feel disconnected and closed off? Alone with your challenges.

Or maybe you’re struggling through postpartum depression without any support from loved ones? You feel as though you’re “going it alone.”

Or are you reluctant to reach out for connection because it means admitting defeat or failure in a culture that celebrates self-sufficiency? This also reflects disconnection.

Seeking the Light

Similar to when we experience a power outage in our homes, we long to come out of the darkness and be reconnected again with light. We also long to bask in the glow of love when we’re in a disconnected place.

Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship. —Brené Brown

So, basically, when we experience a connection, whether in the form of a support group, the company of a dear friend or a loved one or a counselor, we are being embraced, loved, and accepted. This is belonging, my friends.

At the heart of belonging is love, which has nothing to do with fitting in or gaining approval.

The next time you share a random connection with a fellow mom at the grocery store, I encourage you to pause and truly honor the gift of the interaction. It just may be what your own heart is longing for.

If you struggle with feeling disconnected or wonder where you belong, counseling can help. Contact me for a private consultation.